Metropolitan

'Aburokyire Abrabor: Ghanaian life abroad.' is a series featuring the stories of individuals who have travelled to foreign countries for the same purpose; the hope of a better life for themselves and their families. Some are stories of success, but others are not so lucky.

In part six, we share the story of a Ghanaian man, who's life went took him from the devastation of domestic abuse to recovery and success in the UK.

My story is bittersweet. In 2018, after my father's passing, I returned to England on a spouse visa. I immediately faced challenges—starting with finding a job. I eventually secured a position as a porter at King's College Hospital. It was during this time that the difficulties in my marriage became apparent. My wife began verbally abusing me in front of our children. I endured this for the sake of our young son, who barely knew me because I had been away in Ghana when he was born. To him, I was "Uncle."

The abuse escalated to the point where I couldn't have friends visit, and making a simple phone call would spark anger. Sometimes, I returned home late to find the door locked, and was forced to sleep on buses or at hospital receptions. The abuse pushed me into depression, and I was prescribed anti-depressant medication while continuing to support my family financially.

From my £1,100 salary, I agreed to pay her £500 monthly. In the first lockdown of 2020, she locked me out of the home completely. I had savings from Ghana and used it to find refuge in a hotel in Paddington. I reached out to the police, explaining my situation as a spouse visa holder unable to cope. Their advice changed everything—they helped me gain indefinite leave to remain, marking a turning point in my life.

Leaving that toxic environment was a difficult but necessary decision. I couldn't subject myself to further abuse for the sake of my son. I rebuilt my life, securing a steady job, and eventually buying my own home. My son continues to live with his mother. I now focus on sending him monthly support and ensuring he's cared for.

Today, I'm proud to say I've found stability and peace of mind. I've prioritized my well-being and am now a British citizen, with the same privileges as anyone born here. Despite the challenges, I've forgiven my ex-wife and chosen not to pursue legal battles that could harm our son. Instead, I've focused on bettering myself, relying on faith and hard work to overcome adversity.

I've been blessed with opportunities to further my education. My journey has taught me the value of resilience and forgiveness. I look ahead with gratitude for how far I've come, without dwelling on revenge or past hurts. I trust in God's guidance and continue to live my life with dignity and kindness.

If you would like to contribute stories for publication anonymously, message Karen Mcklaren on facebook or email karen.mcklaren@gmail.com