Metropolitan

Aburokyire Abrabor: Ghanaian life abroad.

part three

'Aburokyire Abrabor: Ghanaian life abroad.' is a series featuring the stories of individuals who have travelled to foreign countries for the same purpose; the hope of a better life for themselves and their families. Some are stories of success, but others are not so lucky. Some are, in their words, ‘trapped’ abroad.

In part three, we hear how difficult it has been for this Ghanaian family, struggling to raise a family while divided.

“My husband brought our family to London for what is termed ‘a good life’ for our children. We thought it would be a safer country to live in with good education and medical care. We live in Tottenham, North London. The area where I live has many Ghanaian people and parents like myself. As for family, my husband’s brother invited us, but lives in Birmingham with his wife and kids, so we never see them.”

“I returned home from a funeral to find that the High Street was blocked and traffic was being diverted from the main road. I could smell fire, see many people congregating and some running down the streets in the distance. I follow the diversion that takes me past the spot where the Metropolitan Police shot a young black man earlier in the week. When I get home I am greeted by my daughter who is in tears. She tells me that her senior brother has left the house with friends, and has headed towards the High Street, but I still do not know why she is crying. I give up trying to get her to explain and I put on the television to get the biggest scare of my life. Tottenham is on fire, there is rioting, and my son is out there.”

“My son is 17 years old. I have had difficulty raising this boy since his father and I divorced 3 years ago. I believed that this country would provide better money and good work for my husband. He works in warehouse operating a vacuum sealing machine. I work in a supermarket on the cash register, but we have to work hours that meant we hardly saw each other. Our lives changed in such a way, I cannot explain fully enough, but if your husband is never home and you are always at work, your children do not have aunty or Nanabaa to help, you will soon find that your family can very easily destabilise. Constant arguments between my husband and I about bills and having shortage of money regardless of how hard we worked made my husband feel like a failure as a man. He began to drink very heavily, often not coming home until late at night and smelling of bitters and ready to fight me. I would go to my pastor for support, beg my husband to attend church with us as a family, but little by little he stopped. After some time, I came to suspect that my husband was having an affair, this time with one small girl at the warehouse where he worked. When I asked him, all hell came down upon my head as he admitted it and promptly announced he had no intention of stopping. I never believed this would happen to me again. He had little regard for me and our marriage died a slow death. Eventually I took my children to a friend’s home, where I have been ever since.”

“I received a phone call from my son. I could hear the commotion around him and he sounded angry. He says that I don’t understand what it is like to be an African boy in London. He says that he sick of being stopped by the police when coming from college and doesn’t even see the point of finishing his A’levels, saying that his teachers don’t even care if he comes to class. He knows people with degrees that cannot get jobs and it is true. He shouts that does not want to work in a Warehouse like his father. I tell him that God will make a way and he should come home, that this is not the answer. But he shouts ‘what can you do? Tell my father?’ He cuts off the call. He knows I cannot do anything and has not seen his father for nearly two years now. This has been one of the most horrifying days of my life. I want to go home, to my real home, but who will sponsor me?”

by Karen Mcklaren